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Rundown
In this episode we work through issues relating to body image, eating disorders and gendered experiences with food, drawing a lot from our own experiences. The impetus for this episode came from a series of comments that Mexie received on her channel that focused on her appearance. We begin by discussing these, and then move into discussions of our own experiences with eating disorders and gendered experiences with food, including veganism. We then discuss the tropes of the ‘cool girl’ and the ‘natural beauty’, and discuss how these relate to capitalism and patriarchy more broadly. This was a really personal episode for us (and less structured than we’re used to), but we felt that these were important topics to bring up publicly. We hope you enjoy!
Sources and Links
- Maria Del Russo, “I Completely Lost Myself Trying To Be “The Cool Girl”: http://www.refinery29.com/how-to-be-a-cool-girl-dating-myth
- Julie DiCaro, “The Dangers of the ‘Cool Girl’ Idea”: https://theestablishment.co/the-dangers-of-the-cool-girl-ideal-76e59cf0f6ec
- Marine’s video: My Gendered Relationship With Meat (Pre-Vegan): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqTOvbrWsMs&t=176s
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17 thoughts on “5. Body Image, Eating Disorders, and the Gendered Politics of Food”
Ah that comment was horrible! But sadly reminded me of one thing that I said a few years ago (which I’m ashamed of) I told a friend who was sending (what I thouhgt to be) “revealing” selfies to guys and I made a some ironic comment about that (as I somehow thought that’d make anything better) and she got really upset. But it came back around when she sometime later told me that I should work out (and I had a complex with being very tall and skinny, so that wasn’t very uplifting.) And in hindsight I wish we wouldn’t have cared about how the other looked just because of some societal norms or whatever, urgh!
“I just don’t think people should comment on other peoples bodies.” Yes I agree, I mean it’s not necissary (with perhaps the excepotion of like when people ask what you think.)
I don’t have those apps, but I’ve thought about a description like that as well, haha that’s great!
Dr.Mexie I actually thought you were like 23~ish
I definitely enjoyed the rant ; ) Can’t wait till the next episode, really intresting topic.
Thank you! Agreed, there’s really no need for people to be commenting on other peoples’ bodies unless it’s solicited. And thanks for thinking I was 23-ish (Mexie) ;).
Hey Mexie, liked your podcast. Just discovered your content from your livestream with Natalie from Contrapoints.
It’s interesting to hear your take on disordered eating. Do you have any experience with the online eating disorder community? It’s anecdotal evidence on my part, but there seems to be a number of vegetarians in the eating disorder community. (I’m a mostly recovered mostly vegetarian former anorexic)
OK. That comment was way to long… Anyway great podcast. Bye…
P. S.
I totally understand the wanting to be one of the boys feeling when growing up.
It also really rings true that generally men are culturally only allowed to show happiness or anger.
Okay I promise that’s the last comment.
Thank you! So glad Natalie connected us. I don’t have much experience with the online eating disorder community, although yes, there has been a lot of discussion of eating disorders in the veg/vegan community. I think a lot of people turn to plant-based eating to heal, but issues still persist. (there were a number of really BIG names in the vegan movement advertising diets to help girls beat eating disorders, like Freelee’s Raw Till 4 diet, so it makes sense). I’m really happy to hear you’ve mostly recovered <3
Yes! I feel this so much, I went vegetarian to help my disordered eating (it’s a control thing for me so somehow it works). And I’m also here from Natalie’s livestream 🙂 Great podcast, can’t wait to hear more!
Oh great, I’m glad Natalie connected us :). Also really glad to hear you’ve found something that works for you, that’s super important. Thanks for the support! <3
I listened to this as I cycled into work this morning (I work as a personal trainer) and my first client is someone who has been struggling with an eating disorder and recently had a relapse. This talk was such a good primer for my work and got me in exactly the right headspace to be supportive of my client and connect with them on the issue. Mexie – your story sounds almost identical to mine, including the switch to high-carb, which I still do but I had binging issues at first. I struggle to find any kind of way of eating and exercising in which I can confidently give myself ENOUGH to fuel my lifestyle without binging and gaining weight. Even mixing in lots of veggies and counting calories with a pure whole food diet, it’s a struggle for me – and it’s basically my JOB to be fit so psychologically it is difficult in many ways. Also I’ve always taken your put-together appearance to be a reflection of your put-together ideas. You obviously care very much about what you present to people in your videos in all respects and I appreciate that. Thanks for another excellent podcast, both of you!
Thank you so much for this comment <3. Really glad you enjoyed the talk and that it got you in the right headspace for your client. We're very sorry to hear that you went through something so similar. Honestly I (Mexie) feel like it's a common occurrence these days. So much pressure to conform and so much conflicting and detrimental information out there. It must be difficult psychologically to have being fit be your job, but hopefully you can inspire your clients to think of fitness as more than just how they appear on the outside (like strength, capability, stress release, mental and emotional fitness, etc.). Hopefully you can start to think of your own fitness that way too :). And thank you so much re: my videos!
Wow, what an amazingly powerful, vulnerable, and raw discussion. Again. Thank you, Comrades!
Just so you know, I find you both really inspiring. I switched to a vegan diet about 2.5 months ago thanks to the final push from you two. I feel really good about that change. So thank you.
Firstly, MEXIE IS A FUCKING DR NOW! Congratulations!
Merine, I don’t know if you had already come out online before, but WHOOOO Bi Pride!
I’m also a naturally skinny creature. So I feel I can relate in a small way with what you were saying about your experiences with being shamed for being skinny. I still cop it a lot. ANY time my body shape changes (and its kind of obvious when it does) some motherfucker has to say something.
That guy commenting on Mexie’s videos seems to be really happy with Mexie’s message, but really upset that she’s a woman. Guys that can’t see the value in their female comrades are no comrade of mine. Dude-bros get the gulag.
Maybe hit up someone like FinnBol, he might know people that are experienced and willing to help mod the comments on your channel????
For what it’s worth, Mexie’s selfie game is STRONG. I’m constantly impressed with how you come across in-front of a camera. Let nobody tear you down. <3
My way of getting back at the world for that kind of attitude: I have long, naturally-straight blonde hair and an ambiguous body type. Dude-bros love to check me out from afar until they get close enough to see my beard. It's a wonderful thing seeing their rabid glee leave their faces and turn into deep, burning self doubt.
My small and humble contribution to the discussion:
I spent 7 years in the Australian Army (as a musician). My diet was SUPER regulated by other people for pretty much my entire life until I turned 24. (I'm 29 now) Choosing a Vegan diet or having dietary requirements was handled terribly by that institution for the most part. Which made it pretty much impossible to challenge the status-quo. Needless to say, I don't have a great relationship with food. Like you both, I also went down the road of crazy workout routines and attitudes towards 'health' and fitness. I regulated my own diet just like an athlete would, and discarded social interactions in favour of gym time. I wonder if institutionalized diet regulations like the military would be an interesting case study on this type of thing. Since leaving the Army, (and escaping other strict food regulations) I feel like I finally have control over my life. Making the choice to go Vegan (which was previously impossible) has been a real confidence boost. Thanks for being a part of that Mexie and Merine <3
I mentioned this to Mexie a few days ago, but I feel like I can relate in a small way about the hyper-masculine attitude towards meat. Here's a quote from a 'colleague' last week when he spotted an article on my screen at work; he exclaimed at the top of his voice: "I'd rather pay 30 bucks for a steak than eat that faggot crap… no offense" – I'm also the only open non-straight person at work. It was pretty interesting to see how visibly angry he got too. As if the mere presence of someone nearby, not eating meat threatened his masculinity. It's also kind of hilarious that he's the one far more likely to eat shit than me, considering our dietary choices. Eat shit Paul.
I apologize on behalf of the half-decent Pauls of the world, Adam. Rest assured that there are some vegan comrades out there by that name, too 😉 Haha
Thanks Adam! Love the comment. And congrats on making the vegan switch 🙂 We’re both overjoyed to have influenced the decision!
Thanks re: congrats on becoming a doc!
Marine also has a video on her channel where she comes out as bi, if you’re interested. It’s funny that you ‘get back’ at dude-bros with your ambiguity lol, that’s awesome. But very sorry to hear that people like Paul give you shit about it. People definitely shouldn’t be commenting on others’ bodies or dietary choices that way. It is ridiculous how something so seemingly innocuous can really shatter someone’s masculinity.
Thanks for sharing your experience in the army, too. I hadn’t thought about how institutions like that do also very much control peoples’ diets and attitudes toward ‘fitness’. Really goes to show that these kinds of disordered eating patterns are internalized by all sexes & genders, just in different (but damaging) ways. Glad you’ve escaped <3 <3
Congrats on the doctorate, Mexie! That’s awesome!
Great podcast as always. Thanks for keeping it real as always, and being so honest about your experiences.
I appreciated that reference to guys who simultaeously put women down and acknowledge something good about them as a warped form of flirting. It reminds me of “negging” and those self-proclaimed “pick-up artists” from a couple of year ago. Ugh.
By the way, Marine, thanks for making me re-learn French! Your new series is great, and it’s really nice to hear people stepping away from the imperialistic anglosphere (as I write in English lol). I love that because my country was colonized by the UK many years ago and my native language (Irish) was robbed in the process. I can’t complain too much these days as Ireland’s a pretty damn priveleged place to live in 2018, but it’s always a nice reminder when people choose to recognize their unique culture in different ways. Go raibh maith agat! (“Thank you”)
Keep up the great work people! This podcast is going to be huge
Thank you so much, Paul! You’re right, that kind of “flirting” is very reminiscent of the “pick-up artists” that were getting a lot of attention recently. Bleh.
And glad that you’re loving the French series! We agree that it’s great to push back at the totalizing anglo-capitalist imperialist order in any small way we can 😉
“message me only if you are a vegan anti capitalist feminist.”
I feel like this is how dating should be and not like Tinder where you see literally just faces and make decisions in an instant like an animal.
Yes, Tinder is the worst!
Lol too funny!!!! Clearly they haven’t seen the pictures of the other women in your life to see that the skin is genetic! Post a picture of grandma! On a more serious note, thank you once again for your painful honesty on an incredibly difficult subject. This is an heartbreaking issue that I have dealt with professionally for almost 40 years of nursing teanagers and young women. Any men that are insecure enough to worry about that shit are better left to sillier ,less discerning partners